


This is Home

by dwarf_planet



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aromantic, Aromantic Peter Parker, Heavy Angst, Other, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Songfic, Suicide Attempt, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Trans Peter Parker, and apparently some aro readers have related to him, but i think of this peter as aro, it’s not explicitly stated that he’s aro so technically he might not be, so i’m adding the tag
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-02 02:13:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23917339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dwarf_planet/pseuds/dwarf_planet
Summary: A trans Spidey AU songfic based on This is Home by cavetown.Very angst heavy, please check the tags!
Relationships: Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 16
Kudos: 110





	This is Home

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for clicking !! Read the tags and please don't read it if it'll trigger you. Stay safe and enjoy !!
> 
> Also I know it says Spider-Man not Spider-Girl or whatever but I did that on purpose, mmkay ? I have a story behind it but I couldn't fit it into this work. Just don't get mad about that please and thank you

_Often I am upset_

_That I cannot fall in love_

Peter sighed, flopping back on his bed and rapidly blinking back tears to avoid crying. He’d told MJ how he felt, and she’d felt the same. Which was great! But they’d been dating for only a few months when she told him she loved him. He cared about her, but… he just didn’t love her like that. He’d buried his head in his face, then mumbled, “I don’t love you, MJ… I’m sorry.” And then they’d broken up.

_But I guess_

_This avoids the stress of falling out of it_

It didn’t sting as much as he’d thought it would, and maybe that was what was causing him to cry now. He’d just numbly accepted it and left. She looked so upset, but Peter didn’t really feel like anything had happened. They were still close friends, right…? He thought so. And that was essentially what dating was, just with more physical contact, wasn’t it? Probably not. He didn’t think other people felt like that about their significant others. Peter was just… fucked up.

_Are you tired of me yet?_

Laying there in his bed, a thought crossed his mind and he pulled out his phone. He scrolled down, clicked on the contact he was trying to find, and sent a text.

**Underoos: Hey**

_I'm a little sick right now_

**Mr. Stark: Hey kid, what’s up?**

**Underoos: Can we talk?**

**Mr. Stark: I’m kind of busy. This better be important**

Peter bit his lip, hesitating, then sent a message when the three dots signaling that Mr. Stark was typing appeared.

**Underoos: ...I think I’m sick.**

_But I swear_

_When I'm ready I will fly us out of here_

**Mr. Stark: What?? Kid, where are you? What’s wrong? Does Aunt May know? Are you safe? Don’t go on patrol.**

**Underoos: Not that kind of sick**

**Mr Stark: Kiddo, you’re kinda confusing me here. And I’m a super genius. So what’s going on?**

_I'll cut my hair_

_To make you stare_

**Underoos: I cut my hair**

**Mr. Stark: Okay… What does that have to do with anything?**

_I'll hide my chest and I'll Figure out a way to get us out of here_

**Underoos: And I bought some bandages.**

**Mr. Stark: Kid, you’re really starting to freak me out. Tell me what’s going on before I have to track your location.**

**Underoos: To bind. Like.**

**Underoos: So I look flat.**

**Mr. Stark: Flat?**

**Underoos: My chest. So it looks flat.**

_Turn off your porcelain face_

**Mr. Stark: Don’t girls your age usually wear push up bras and shit to do the opposite?**

Peter flinched. It wasn’t Mr. Stark’s fault; he couldn’t know, but… Peter just wished he didn’t have to type it out. He wished Mr. Stark would put the context clues together. He wished this were easier.

_I can't really think right now in this place_

_There's too many colours_

_Enough to drive all of us insane_

**Underoos: nvm forget i said anything**

**Mr. Stark: Kid, you gotta talk to me.**

Peter buried his face in his hands, sniffling. He just wanted to be normal. He couldn’t think. He was panicking. He just wanted to not be trans.

_Are you dead?_

_Sometimes I think I'm dead_

**Mr. Stark: Underoos??**

**Mr. Stark: Where’d you go?**

**Mr. Stark: Kid, are you okay?**

**Mr. Stark: Tell me you’re okay.**

**Mr. Stark: I’m tracking your location and I’ll be over in a few moments. I don’t know what’s happening, but it’s going to be okay**.

_'Cause I can feel ghosts and ghouls wrapping my head_

_But I don't wanna fall asleep just yet_

Peter pushed himself up, ignoring the tears streaming down his face in favor of glaring at his phone. Why did he think this was a good idea? He shouldn’t have mentioned anything. Oh well. He still had a few minutes to fix things…

_My eyes went dark_

He headed to the top of the roof,

_I don't know where_

looked down at the city,

_My pupils are but I'll_

and forced a grim smile, accepting what he finally understood to be his fate.

_Figure out a way to get us out of here_

He took a few steps forward until he was looking directly over the side. His healing factor couldn’t save him if he died the moment he hit the pavement.

_Get a load of this monster_

He stepped up onto the edge of the roof. He took everything in. What a pretty view; smog and traffic. Oh, and there was Iron Man in the distance, headed straight for his apartment. He was running out of time. He had to go, now.

_He doesn't know how to communicate_

He felt like he should leave a note, but there wasn’t time and what would he even say? _“Hey, I’m trans, sorry to let everyone down. Bye.”_ He shook his head.

_His mind is in a different place_

There was a humming in the back of his mind. Or was it coming from the outside? He couldn’t tell, and it wouldn’t matter in a minute.

_Will everybody please give him a little bit of space?_

He took a deep breath, waved at the Iron Man suit that was almost there, then stepped off.

_Get a load of this trainwreck_

The wind went rushing by, and instinct told him to lift his hand up and shoot a web. But he didn’t have any webs. He was just Peter Parker, not Spiderman.

_His hair's a mess and he doesn't know who he is yet_

The ground approached rapidly and he closed his eyes. He was okay. He was finally going to be free. No more Phoebe Parker.

_But little do we know the stars_

Well, not quite. They’d still bury him as that. But at least he wouldn’t have to witness it.

_Welcome him with open arms_

He opened his eyes. There was the ground, barely two seconds away and-

_Oh_

He wasn’t falling anymore. Why wasn’t he falling?

_Time is_

“I got you, kid.” Iron Man’s voice sounded from behind him, seemingly out of breath, and he realised Mr. Stark had caught him.

_Slowly_

Peter turned in his grip when they landed, hugging Mr. Stark the moment he was out of his suit. “I tried to kill myself,” He mumbled against Tony’s shoulder, shaking.

_Tracing his face_

Tears started pooling, but he wasn’t sad. Mr. Stark tightened his grip. “I know, Phoebe, and we need to talk about that, but we don’t have to right now if you don’t want to.”

_But strangely he feels at home in this place_

Peter shook his head slightly. “Mr. Stark?”

Tony loosened his grip, looking at Peter. “Yes?”

“It’s not Phoebe, it’s Peter.”

Understanding flooded Tony’s face, and he only hugged the boy tighter. “Peter, I love you.”

“I love you too, Mr. Stark.” For the first time in what felt like a long time, Peter felt safe, happy, and at home.

**Author's Note:**

> Lemme know what you thought ?? I can maybe make this into a series if it's requested enough... Leave a comment and kudos if you enjoyed; they fuel me !! Please tell me if you saw any mistakes ! Thanks for reading <3


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